Last day in Barcelona…last full day overseas, so I took some time to just sit on a bench along Las Ramblas and reflect a little, as I did in Rome (third pic). I’m going to post a bunch more happy looking pictures but to be honest, the trip wasn’t the cleansing spiritual experience that I and many friends had hoped for. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I took the trip, there were moments of joy revisiting sites and tastes I’d experienced years ago, and nostalgia can be a potent drug, but it only suspends you above reality for so long. I enjoyed singing with the chorus and seeing some folks in Bologna, but I never felt more alone than sitting in a hotel room in another city, in another country, on a different continent. I cried…a lot, usually multiple times a day. ##
Amidst all of that some things that did need tending to got dredged up, and my issues with disordered eating ramped up. I’d do multiple hour workouts until 2 or 3am, and pick myself apart regularly 😓 Still, I think this was necessary trip for me…sometimes you need to stare into the void to see it’s not so empty. I’m going home and it’s still going to be hard and hurt…a lot, but I have to grow through it because I can’t keep blinding myself and hiding in the hopes I won’t notice or feel the issues I have been putting off dealing with. Wish me luck, a pigeon already did 🤣
“Seasons of love” with the gospel ensemble I get to sign with within the GMCW, which is also named Seasons of Love…hence the song 😅 After singing at the church, I ran over to the pride festival to sing with my group. Even with the rain and wind, we sang on and killed it! This bit of solo used to make me incredibly nervous, but with Ronte’s encouragement & getting out of my own way, it’s become a lot of fun! Plus it made me work on my soprano 🥴 #seasonsoflove#gmcw#rent
“You’ll Never Walk Alone” Sung two ways, 1st clip: While I didn’t participate in many Capital Pride festivities, I did get to make some music. I was invited to sing for Riverside Baptist Church’s musical theatre Pride service yesterday & they requested what happens to be my favorite Rodger’s and Hammerstein piece from my favorite of their musicals: Carousel. First I sang it through more traditionally, and then I just…improvised the second sing through. I was told I get in my head a lot, something I’ve noticed myself, and it’s taken some of the joy of performing away & often led to messing up things I wouldn’t normally.
The first part I was so nervous & trying to keep it technical & controlled, & I wasn’t happy with it. Nerves combined with singing in the morning with little sleep made it all the more difficult but then during the long interlude in between (I cut it out of the video) I thought of how welcoming & loving the congregation was & how beautiful the words and message of the song are for Pride month…sometimes you just gotta let it go. The first clip is actually the second pass where I did just that, and the second clip is me all wrapped in nerves, which I’ll post in a little 😅 #youllneverwalkalone#pridemonth
Happy pride month from my boys, both being adorable while cuddling and napping. And a lil video of Bucky’s favorite part of the morning when he gets to jump on dad to start their day! 🤣🤣🤣
Happy Gotcha Day to my little boy, Bucky! Four years ago, a few months into quarantine, I was living alone and losing my mind from isolation, and then I got a call approving me to adopt this little rescue and he saved my life. Bucky was terrified after being rescued from a cruel situation, and I had never had a dog before so it was a learning experience for both of us, but I can’t describe how much I love him. I remember he wouldn’t let me get close and now he loves to sleep as close as possible, taking any chance to use one of us as a pillow. I remember the first time he cuddled me, and struck a pose or splooted on the floor. His goofy faces make him such a character, especially when his lip gets caught on his tooth, though I think he may do it on purpose now. 😂
I remember when we became a family of four and he quickly took to @james_albert_iv , and now running and jumping on him in the morning is a favorite event of the day. Really, it’s been a joy to see him grow into his personality, going from being mute to comically full of sound effects 😵💫 Regardless of the learning curve, I wouldn’t give it up for anything. Nothing snaps me out of a mood like coming home and hearing his little paws jolt down the hallway and start going in circles with excitement. 🥰🥰🥰
Doesn’t matter if it’s weeks or just a couple of days, I always miss them. 🥺 I’m in Portland this weekend and missing the cuddles, especially at night. Little pups are so cute when they’re asleep…and yes that is AJ with the eye mask on and a pile of blankets on top. Mind you, he turns on the AC EVERY NIGHT to make it cold 🤦🏽♂️
Forgot to put this up! We were dropping the pups off at our friend’s place for the weekend in Montreal and they have a cat (and giant dog). Bucky has always been fascinated by cats on walks, he goes into “stealth mode” and wants to run up and investigate, however last year when we dropped them off with the same friends, he apparently got freaked out the one time the cat emerged 😂 Well…here it is again. He already wants to hunt rats so while AJ wants a cat eventually, I’m still unsure how that relationship would go 😂 FYI He is this verbal ALL OF THE TIME and he did fine the rest of the weekend, no furry friends were harmed.
Update on my hair journey, and a journey it has been. Almost 3 years of growing and it’s well past the longest it’s ever been and in the past I would have gotten frustrated with trying to figure it out but this time I took time to actually learn how to use products and styling tools, but a satin cap to sleep in has to be the biggest game change! Also accepting that with curly hair comes accepting that no matter what you do, it will ultimately decide how it wants to be and that’s fine. I straightened it one day and that was…something. I accept that it may look messy to some but I love it and that’s the damn point 😊😜 Ready for some hairography!
