Photo credit to @shawncollinsphotography
Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark
I feel like a sex dog today…Idk what that means…but I wanna get inseminated
Oh a haiku:
I am a sex dog
A breedable little pup
Bark bark bark bark bark
Awwww that was cute.
Another one:
Where is my dildo
Triple X size werewolf cock
It was in the fridge
Saves on air conditioning you know
First of all @nastypig swimmie from the latest pride shoot of course.
Second of all LET ME MANSPLAIN a funny thing at you. Many of you may be familiar with my porny twitter @dirtytattedtop . And since being public about being in a relationship where I AM BEGGIN’ TO BOTTOM, I have received lots of toxic comments (“don’t be a bottom, you’re a masc man”, etc.) which is WEIRD cuz first of all why would a gay hyena on the internet care about what a primate wants me to do with my butt? But guys. My handle “DIRTYTATTEDTOP” has always been a joke. I hate when guys on profiles just label themselves “DOMTOP,” or “HUNG” or “TIGHTHOLE.” First of all, these labels are frequently not true 😂. Second, I think it’s funny that people label themselves with titles that they have to explain are flexible and sometimes don’t advertise what they even want/ are at the moment. Anyway, my point here is that I was trying to parody this cuz I’m only 50% dirty (but 100% stinmky), only somewhat tatted, and I am a true VERSEY BOY. And if you want me to FURTHER explain…for me, I don’t get sexually emotional as a top, but I am a TRUE BOTTOM FOR LOVE. Oh gosh the emotions. Love it.
Anyway, I just want EVERYONE TO be sexually happy, but stop false advertising, and stop with the sexually hierarchies. Bweh.
Also @pin_me_big_daddy is my perfect top bf so go follow him, he HATES IT.
So grateful to be part of the @nastypig experience. Head over their page guys, support gay brands. Tbh it’s my favorite part of going to pride events. I even bought some lesbian stuff in Cincinnati this past weekend. Expanding my clothing horizons and all that. Oh and bought a manbearpig shirt of the sexy cryptid in a jockstrap. After all, I’m a cryptid in a jockstrap. I think that’s my life goal tbh. To be recognized as a cryptid. I prowl the forests of northern Kentucky to either FEED, BREED, or whisper “shhhhh my darling, you are loved,” in your little ears. Then I disappear into my nearby Uber driver’s Prius to continue my ill-gay-doings.
Ugh it’s leg day.
need one of you to come and pick me up from the shelter, this is a no-kill shelter and they’re thinking about euthanizing me anyway 🤷. Tbh I understand, I’m a lot, and they’ve had a lot of complaints about a certain puppy who sticks his dick through the kennel chain link. @mr.s.leather hood and @twistedpupleather hat yo.
More of @shawncollinsphotography !
Look at me and my new BOY doing a big MLEM. I’ve been looking for a Spuds light near me forever cuz I didn’t wanna have him shipped cuz he might break. I collect Spuds Mackenzie things. HES THE ORIGINAL PARTY ANIMAL! I used to see him on tv and be like…dang he just parties and drinks beer and gets all the ladies wet dang. I guess I followed in his footsteps in most respects tho 🤣. Thank you Spuds for being my role model for all these years, and you know what? I think he’d be proud of me getting railed every night. Spuds don’t judge. He’d be like
“Hell yeah man, enjoy that Bud Lite, and while you’re at it, see how many loads you can work outta your man’s beer can cock. Budweiser is PROUD OF YOU. After all, I experimented early on in college, and used to lick the Coors Beer Wolf’s hairy ass until he turned into a howling little puppy and shot all over our dorm room bunk beds. He cums beer you know. Alright, I gotta go Luca, alimony and child support don’t pay themselves, and crypto is a scam, so I gotta clock in, I’m an astronaut now. Byeeeeee.”
That’s my head canon at least 🤷
LAST TWO WEEKS PHOTO DUMP
Thanks @torso.leatherfetish , @awolbar , @palmastropical for hosting me last two weeks. Had an awesome time with EVERYONE, and I’ll be taking a nice little rest the next week to heal my wittle 35 year old baby knees and four livers.
Let me catch you up on my LIFE. I have a boyfriend now. His name is TONY. DON’T LOOK AT HIM. He’s MY boyfriend. He is kind and supportive and fun and interesting and hot and I love him and his weiner is massive and he helped fix my car after it was broken into so I could buy a TRUCK. Look at my new TUNDRA. His name is LEO and he is a hybrid just like me. Only Tony is allowed in Leo so I guess we are technically a closed thrupple.
I’ll be walking around Cincinnati Pride next weekend so if you see me around make sure you tell me GOOD AFTERNOON. And if you see me with my boyfriend DONT LOOK AT HIM. His soul is mine ❤️😈.
AND!!! ILL BE IN COLUMBUS ON FRIDAY EVENING! @torso.leatherfetish !!! OPEN HOUSE! UNDERWEARS! ME! OTHER FUN THINGS! I can’t wait to see some Columbus people. I don’t go to Columbus much! Mostly just to pick up Facebook marketplace things. Speaking of which I need to show you the BOY I BOUGHT. I will show him off for sure. But. COME TO THIS. GONNA BE BADASS and you can try on some underwear with me or something 🤷.
Saturday night! Lexington Hilton! Stripping! Dancing! Being generally agreeable! In a hotel! Let’s see them try and stop me. Seriously try. It’ll be fun. @micah_5000 and @zanderchangofficial and Suki Lee! I’m gonna wear some new stuff I think. Lemme know if you’re gonna be there. Also I’m gonna post in a few minutes where I’ll be Friday night! But come out to see me Lexington! And thank @opulentoccassions_llc for putting this together!
