On February 21 my beautiful baby boy Baxter left me. I have spent so long trying to build up the fortitude to post these photos of him, as they are the last photos I ever took of him. He was my heart, my happiness, and I am so incredibly lost. Everything reminds me of him, everywhere reminds me, and I feel so lonely without my shadow, my best friend
I post this because I so desperately want him to live on, and if he can live on in your minds and hearts for even a few moments longer, that is worth it. He deserves that
Baxter got sick on January 3rd, and I spent six weeks nursing him. Every two hours he was getting pills, or being carried outside, or needing me to feed him. He had a hard time being comfortable or sleeping, so if he found a spot that's where we stayed--even if it was on the bathroom floor. He lost a lot of weight. I learned to sleep in 30 minute naps.
And then for a couple days he was really good. So good. He played with his toys, he rubbed his face on the carpets, he ate so much I thought he would pop! He licked me, and I was so very happy
And then the weekend of the 21st Baxter crashed. He couldn't walk, he could barely breathe, he stopped eating. I couldn't do anything to save my boy
On Monday, around 3pm my baby died in my arms sitting in the sunlight on his favorite swing. I cradled him against my chest, as he took his last breath staring at me and then finally went to the sleep this tumor in his heart had been denying him for weeks
He loved sticks, and balls, and stuffed moose. He would pick his own toys out at the pet store, and if you held a blanket up in front of him he would start barking like a mad dog. He loved to hide under the bed, and thought ice cream was the greatest treat it was possible to have. He was gentle and kind, and loved to meet new people and smell new things
I love you Baxter, and I miss you every day
August 10 2007 - February 21 2022
#rainbowbridge#frenchbulldog#dog
I got a giant Mrs Fields' cookie for my birthday. This might seem kind of strange or random, but I've always wanted one. As a kid, we would go to the mall and I'd see these massive cookies and want one, but I was always told they were too expensive. In my head, over time, they became "unattainably expensive," even though really they're pretty affordable--it's just how I started to think about them.
So I grow up, and then I go to the mall one day recently and I see these giant cookies and I suddenly realize... I can totally just buy one of these. I can own it, and eat it.
This was pretty mindblowing, to be honest. All my life, I had unconsciously thought of these cookies as wildly expensive luxuries, only for that to suddenly change and be something I could actually get. I said as much, and I'd intended on getting one...eventually.
Fast forward to my birthday, and someone remembered and brought me this giant cookie of my childhood dreams.
Crazy, huh?
