In my mind, I’ve typed and deleted this post countless times. Each attempt fell short, unable to capture the raw emotions that surge within me at this very moment. How does one begin to describe a journey that started fifteen years ago—a journey which at times was marked by extreme loneliness, confusion, and seemingly insurmountable challenges?
It was a path that demanded I break physical ties with family, bid farewell to familiar faces, and relinquish memories etched into my very being. But that very same path, against all odds, has molded me into a more authentic version of myself—one that revels in queerness, takes immense pride in its Middle Eastern heritage, and remains resilient with its spirit of an immigrant.
Today, as I stand on the precipice of my destination, I am grateful. Grateful for the family who were brave enough to let me explore my own journey 5,229 miles away, grateful for the friends who have cheered for me along the way, and grateful for the role models who have believed in me. The road has been tough, but it has led me to a place where I can finally have that feeling of being settled. I exhale.
Swipe ➡️ to the last photo for that boy who was once clueless what his world could turn out to be.
✌🏼🇺🇸 #ProudImmigrant
Frankly, I wonder why I never auditioned for a chorus before. Music has been my lifelong love since I’ve known myself, and singing (in the shower) always brings me joy. A friend once said that some choices don’t need to make sense because when stars align and stories converge, the choices you made in the past don’t matter. In December, something clicked, and I mustered the courage to audition for @gmcwashington . Today, my heart overflows as I perform in my first show. How can mere words capture the gratitude of belonging to something bigger or seeing cherished faces of the closest people in my life cheering for me in the audience? No words suffice but this boy is humbled. 🫶🏼
Only a select few artists have left an indelible mark on my life quite like Tegan & Sara.
I discovered them in 2003 when I stumbled upon "Want to Be Bad" (and then “Time Running” and “Don’t Confess” consecutively) in the first few episodes of One Tree Hill (T&S often references “Grey’s Anatomy” for their visibility in 2005 but seriously, it was “One Tree Hill”). I saw myself in the main character Peyton who had a heavily guarded heart with a penchant for indie music and vinyl records (I was secretly wishing Peyton was queer). “If It Was You” found me exactly at that time when I was confused by my sexuality and was adamant to underplay it. In that record, I understood a little bit of me; still from a distance but yet with a newfound sense of curiosity.
In the years that followed, each T&S album corresponded to pivotal moments in my life. I was slowly coming to terms with who I am during “So Jealous”. “Call It Off” (The Con) was the first song I played after my first sexual experience with a guy. I was in my dorm room, completely weirded out by the whole thing, and unsure if it was for me. “Sainthood" aligned perfectly with the first couple of months after my arrival in The States, a completely foreign environment distant from everything and everyone I held dear. The album's angst resonated deeply with my experience of stepping into the unknown. "Heartthrob" served as my sole motivator during the grueling process of studying for my doctorate qualifications exam. And when I embarked on my new journey in DC, "Love You to Death" provided the perfect soundtrack for my adjustment. T&S's music has always been a source of comfort, familiarity, nostalgia, and above all, a reflection of my queerness.
I've attended more live shows of T&S than any other artist, and last night's performance at @theatlantis_dc was the pinnacle of them all which was completely acoustic with only 450 lucky attendees. I acknowledge that T&S hold significant meaning for countless others, but this is my story, my connection to their music.
To @teganandsara , with love ✌🏼 #teganandsara
Eat your heart out, Lorde; perfect places do exist!
PTown, what an unabashedly queer gem you are! And peeps, thanks for the amazing end to the #pride month. My f****t heart is bursting with gratitude. 🫶🏼 ✨ 🏳️🌈 🏳️⚧️✨
I’m positively somewhere, absolutely right now 🥰🫶🏼 Cheers to one of the best weekend get aways with some of the most amazing people in my life! #guncle#ATLpride
🏁The mantra for this new age is YES! Yes to self-worth, yes to self-exploration, yes to peace of mind, yes to boundaries, yes to comfort in the unknown, yes to healing, yes to evolving, and yes to love. A little less overthinking and a little more gut. As it is written, so it shall be done. 🏁
📸 @otterpickles 🦦 🐧
