Motherhood & Child Development | Shona Hattin

I definitely learnt what NOT to do during my first postpartum experience. I spent so much time and energy focusing on the pregnancy and birth that I only made a rough postpartum plan… and boy did I pay for it. The second time round I spent all of my planning for the postpartum period. I wanted a calm, peaceful and healing postpartum experience. I made my expectations, wants and boundaries very clear. I said no to the revolving visitors. I said yes to spending a lot of time in or around the bed, napping at every chance I could get. I bulk prepared warm and nutritious foods, healthy one handed snacks and lots of bone broth. I invested in new cosy pjs, slippers, bed linen etc. I took things slow and steady. This time around, my postpartum experience was a dream. I felt like I healed quicker/better with this c section and felt like I had more energy and felt very grounded. Make decisions that truely align and support the postpartum experience you want. It won’t alway go to plan but it is so much better than a haphazardly put together plan made after you have given birth. #matrescence #matrescencejourney #motherhoodintheraw #postpartumjourney #postpartumdepression #postpartumdoula #postpartumhealth #hypnobirth #thenurturerevolution #hypnobirthing #hospitalbag #hospitalessentials #birthworker #babyshowerideas #doulalife #doula #sleeptraining #montessoriathome #holisticpregnancy #holisticparenting #motherhoodrising #motherhoodjourney #motherhoodquotes #mumquotes #momquotes #postnatal #postnatalrecovery #postpartumfood #postpartumessentials #postpartumlife

I think this was by far one of the hardest things I had to grapple with while severely sleep deprived and trying to figure it out in the early days. Especially all the well meaning, and at times, outdated advice from family and friends. I made the decision to parent and nurture the little girl in front of me. The baby that needed more connection and overnight feeds than others… The baby that needed to be fed and snuggled to sleep as opposed to putting her down while sleepy. The little one who wanted to be exclusively breastfed and refused to take a bottle. I knew that eventually we would make it though this intense period and that we would eventually both sleep though the night. Do what works for you and your little one. Xx #matrescence #matrescencejourney #motherhoodintheraw #postpartumjourney #postpartumdepression #postpartumdoula #postpartumhealth #hypnobirth #thenurturerevolution #hypnobirthing #hospitalbag #hospitalessentials #birthworker #babyshowerideas #doulalife #doula #sleeptraining #montessoriathome #holisticpregnancy #holisticparenting #motherhoodrising #motherhoodjourney #motherhoodquotes #mumquotes #momquotes #postnatal #postnatalrecovery #postpartumfood #postpartumessentials #postpartumlife

🤍🤍🤍 Xx #matrescence #matrescencejourney #motherhoodintheraw #postpartumjourney #postpartumdepression #postpartumdoula #postpartumhealth #hypnobirth #thenurturerevolution #hypnobirthing #hospitalbag #hospitalessentials #birthworker #babyshowerideas #doulalife #doula #sleeptraining #montessoriathome #holisticpregnancy #holisticparenting #motherhoodrising #motherhoodjourney #motherhoodquotes #mumquotes #momquotes #postnatal #postnatalrecovery #postpartumfood #postpartumessentials #postpartumlife

It might not feel like it but just watch… 🤍🤍🤍 #motherhoodrising #motherhoodredefined #matrescence #matrescencejourney #mumssupportingmums #nervoussystem #vagusnerve #natureplay #1000hoursoutside #mindfulplay #emotionalintelligence #socialemotionallearning #consciousmotherhood #mindfulmama #mindfulparenting #neuroscience #hypnobirthing #postpartumdoula #babyledweaning #generationalhealing #attachmentparenting #attachmenttheory #openendedplay #sensoryplay #ohheymama #postpartumessentials #gentleparenting #gentlesleeptraining #sleeptraining #coregulation

Xx #matrescence #matrescencejourney #matrescencecoach #postpartumjourney #postpartumdepression #postpartumdoula #postpartumhealth #postpartumhealing #thenurturerevolution #prenatalcare #hospitalbag #hospitalessentials #birthworker #babyshowerideas #doulalife #doula #sleeptraining #montessoriathome #holisticpregnancy #holisticparenting #motherhoodrising #motherhoodjourney #motherhoodquotes #mumquotes #momquotes #postnatal #postnatalrecovery #postpartumfood #postpartumessentials #postpartumlife

When you sit next to, rather than face to face, there’s: 🌿No awkward or uncomfortable eye contact 🌿Less judgement 🌿No facial expressions or body language to see and interpret while trying to listen and understand the other person 🌿It feels safer to express things 🌿The position of your body makes it feel like an open space and non-threatening 🌿It feels like your personal space/boundaries are being acknowledged and respected 🌿You are able to look around at things while thinking and contemplating 🌿You’re not looking at a waiting face and feeing pressured to respond immediately Anytime they are being forced or made to look someone in the eyes or be face to face, it’s never going to end well and from what I have seen… usually escalates the situation There are a lot of kids and adults out there who, because of a range of reasons, feel unsafe or uncomfortable when they are put into a position where they have to be face to face or are made to look someone in the eyes. I have seen this fear and uncomfortableness quickly turn into a Survival Stress response where they lash out in anger (Fight response), run away (Flee response) or even appear to shutdown and zone out (Freeze) because of the influx of stress hormones and Neuroceptive Danger signs. Just sitting next to a child who is struggling emotionally, co-regulating and talking it out worked 99.8% of the time in my classrooms. It doesn’t always have to be sitting next to them. This can be done while doing an activity: craft, playing with blocks, gardening, while you are driving etc. I have also worked out with my daughter, crouching down and hugging her while we talk it out works best for us. 🤍Shona #motherhoodrising #motherhoodredefined #selfhealers #parentingtips #mumssupportingmums #nervoussystem #vagusnerve #natureplay #montessoritoddler #mindfulplay #emotionalintelligence #socialemotionallearning #consciousmotherhood #mindfulmama #mindfulparenting #neuroscience #matrescence #gentleparenting #gentlesleeptraining #sleeptraining #coregulation #hypnobirthing #postpartumdoula #babyledweaning #generationalhealing #attachmentparenting #attachmenttheory #openendedplay #sensoryplay #ohheymama

Our little ones are more likely to believe our praise when they overhear it being said to someone else. For some weird reason, it feels more genuine that way.  The same goes for negative remarks... Our little ones will internalize the negative comments they overhear about themselves and, most likely, their confidence and self esteem levels will drop. My husband made a remark the other day about how brave Miss E was during swimming lessons when she swam to the bottom of the pool to collect a toy.... you should have seen the smile on her face. She was beaming and chimed in to tell me all about it! I have also seen the opposite happen... One of my student’s whole body and demeanour dropped when he overheard his mother telling me he was the naughty one in the family.... My heart went out to him. It takes a lot rebuild a broken self esteem/outlook... even one small negative comment can take a lifetime to repair. They hear and internalise everything. 🤍Shona #motherhoodrising #motherhoodredefined #selfhealers #parentingtips #mumssupportingmums #nervoussystem #vagusnerve #natureplay #1000hoursoutside #mindfulplay #emotionalintelligence #socialemotionallearning #consciousmotherhood #mindfulmama #mindfulparenting #neuroscience #hypnobirthing #postpartumdoula #babyledweaning #generationalhealing #attachmentparenting #attachmenttheory #openendedplay #sensoryplay #ohheymama #matrescence #gentleparenting #gentlesleeptraining #sleeptraining #coregulation

I believe anger is often a “secondary emotion” for us and our little ones. We almost ALWAYS feel something else before we feel anger… Fear Hurt Loss of control Humiliation Attacked Forced Disappointed Trapped Pressured Sad Scared Frustrated Fear of failure Rejected Unseen Unheard etc. I have always been a big believer that there’s always an underlying reason for “negative” behaviours, strong emotions, and sudden outbursts in our little ones. I know a lot of my daughter’s angry outbursts occur mainly due to either frustration because she can’t do something independently or there’s a lack of understanding (think: doesn’t understand time duration or the way to do things). For older kids, from what I have seen in my classroom/playground, a lot of the angry outbursts tend to come from fear, frustration or humiliation. I feel like our own, and our little ones, anger is like a clue to look a little deeper and try to pinpoint the underlying feeling or problem. 🤍Shona #natureplay #matrescence #polyvagaltheory #vagusnerve #playbasedlearning #learningthroughplay #invitationtoplay #letthembelittle #toddlerplayideas #thenurturerevolution #sensoryplayideas #babysensory #toddlersensory #motherhoodrising #easypeasyplay #shareyourplaywithme #babyledweaning #breastfeedingtips #recycleandplay #coregulation #gentleparenting #mindfulmama #mindfulparenting #attachmentparenting #gentlesleeptraining #motherhoodinspired #parentingtips #loosepartsplay #playroomideas #montessoriinspired

I think Epigenetics is absolutely mind blowing 🤯🤯🤯 It’s the study of how our behaviors and environment can cause physical changes that affect the way our genes work. 🧬 These changes are then passed on to our little ones… 🤯 Have you ever stopped and thought about how many ancestors we each actually have? No? Me neither - so I did some digging… Let’s say we go back about 400 years or so… that’s about 20 generations worth of direct ancestors. - think your parents… their parents and so on.. I mean… each of us have around 1 million direct ancestors going back roughly 20 generations- more if you broaden out… The more generations we go back, the crazier the numbers get. That’s a sh&t tonne of genetic and mental inheritance to start to unpack and a lot of lives that have indirectly and directly shaped our nervous systems, our views, and our genetic makeup. Millions of: 🤍 emotional intelligence & nervous system influences… Possibly birthing generation after generation into a Fight/Flight survival stress state vs. regulation 🤍self awareness and regulation skills or lack of skills knowledge being passed on 🤍parenting styles and child rearing “best” practices 🤍parental nurture/lack of nurture 🤍values, attitudes, life expectations, stereotypes etc. So many things have influenced who we are today and in turn - who our little ones are. I think the craziest thing about all of this is that by ending negative cycles, strengthening our Vagus Nerve, & establishing positive & nurturing environments for us & our little ones changes our genes which then influences all of our future generations. Crazy right?!?!! 🤍Shona (P.S. You can find out how to strengthen your Vagus Nerve & create a customised Vagus Nerve Self-care implementation plan in my bio link) #natureplay #matrescence #epigenetics #nervoussystemregulation #vagusnerve #lactationsupport #babywearing #babyweaningideas #babyledsleepcoach #gentlesleeptraining #montessoribaby #montessorihack #1000hoursoutside #natureplay #sensoryplay #fourthtrimester #thenurturerevolution #birthwithoutfear #hypnobirthing #crunchymama #lowtoxliving #gentleparenting #attachmentparenting #ohheymama #postpartum

‘Those who are nurtured the best, survive the best.’ Lou Cozolino Not-so-fun fact: Non-nurturing experiences signal to the nervous system & brain that the world is not a safe space via Neuroception (I have a post explaining this, if this concept is new to you.) The more danger signs we experience, the more we automatically & unconsciously move into our stress responses of Fight/Flight/Freeze. Which has caused a lot of mothers (especially first time mums) to now live in chronic stress… All the while being pressured from society to “bounce back”, to do more on our own, that we need to go against our natural parenting instincts, to become “the SuperMum” - which if we reframe is glorifying and normalising mothers living in dysregulation and our of their Window of Tolerance ( I have a post on this too!) This is why I believe that Until Matrescene (the transition to motherhood) becomes widely known about and until society changes it’s view on pregnancy, postpartum and motherhood in general, it’s up to us to help our own and other mother’s nervous systems feel nurtured and safe through pregnancy, birth and beyond. Thoughts? 🤍Shona #motherhoodrising #motherhoodredefined #selfhealers #parentingtips #mumssupportingmums #nervoussystem #vagusnerve #natureplay #1000hoursoutside #mindfulplay #emotionalintelligence #socialemotionallearning #consciousmotherhood #mindfulmama #mindfulparenting #neuroscience #hypnobirthing #postpartumdoula #babyledweaning #generationalhealing #attachmentparenting #attachmenttheory #openendedplay #sensoryplay #ohheymama #matrescence #gentleparenting #gentlesleeptraining #sleeptraining #coregulation

I mean, we are expected to work like we don’t have kids and raise kids as if we don’t work…. I call bullshit. All of our nurturing, supportive, community like village and support systems has been either been lost somewhere along the way, clinical-ised, and/or devalued… We went from being revered goddesses because we have the ability to create life… to now being cast aside (I’m specifically looking at you America!) For stay at home mothers, we are constantly asked when are we going back to work (even as soon as the baby is a few days old. Seriously, just let me be!)… There’s little mention of how we can best support their choice to stay at home. For working mothers, there is almost a total lack of support and resources available to us to help facilitate returning to work and balancing/thriving in our professional and personal lives without living in survival mode. For both choices, there’s very little support (especially in the immediate postpartum phase) around nurturing healthy attachments and nervous systems, as well as respecting, navigating and nurturing our matrescence transition. Our ability to cope with stressors in adulthood is actually determined by our childhood experiences and our epigenetic inheritance. So the question is why is there still such a lack of support around this crucial age/period of time? I feel that improving society’s mental health starts with supporting mothers and their nervous systems so they can raise emotionally healthy kids. Can I get an Amen! 🤍Shona #motherhoodrising #motherhoodredefined #selfhealers #parentingtips #mumssupportingmums #nervoussystem #vagusnerve #natureplay #1000hoursoutside #mindfulplay #emotionalintelligence #socialemotionallearning #consciousmotherhood #mindfulmama #mindfulparenting #neuroscience #holisticparenting #holisticmama #holistichealing #generationalhealing #attachmentparenting #attachmenttheory #openendedplay #sensoryplay #ohheymama #matrescence #gentleparenting #gentlesleeptraining #sleeptraining #doulalife